that's what SHE said...

hopelessly trying to articulate the utter chaos of my inner workings...

good relaxing weekend. well deserved and desperately needed. and now i can face the music of dead week with a little more determination and a little less panic. thank god. i'm so glad this year is almost over... i'll never have to take gen. chem again!!!!! yay! organic next year... not sure how i feel about that yet. we'll see. as for now, i'm just hoping for my B+ again. whatev. one more lab report to write, a stats self paced final to take, and a group paper to compile, and then my work is done. only studying left.
i can't believe i leave for camp in two weeks. it's kind of snuck up on me... i'm excited though. i've made up my mind about that. it's going to be good.
i really want oreos right now. damn.

posted by: dreamchaser04 at May 31, 2005 14:53 | link | comments (2) |

some questions just aren't easy to answer. especially when you're afraid of what the answer is.
in other news...
i did very poorly on my second chem midterm.. about on par with the first one. at least i know i'm going to get a B... dammit. i also found out that my financial aid package for next year is all loans and one sole scholarship... and no workstudy. which means i'm screwed for a job next year (at least for the same job i have this year) unless the department comes up with the funds to give me one.  maybe i can convince my boss to do that... she'd go crazy without me there and she knows it, so there's still a little hope. anyway, about the rest of it... i don't want to take any of the loans, and the scholarship is only 1800 bucks, so i've been hunting around desperately for other scholarships to apply for. so far, not too much is available, at least not until next fall. and my summer job is only going to pay $1600. i hate money. i hate worrying about not having any. and i hate that some people won't ever have to worry about it. 
i'm trying to be alright. but right now it's hard. i just want it to end, i want to take my finals and get it over with and go home at least for a little while. i want a break from worrying about things. and actually... time for yoga. sweet timing.

posted by: dreamchaser04 at May 23, 2005 12:54 | link | comments (2) |

"...and a rock feels no pain, and island never cries."
some days i wish i was a rock, or an island.
i think too hard and feel too much for one person.
no one should have to deal with all of this at once.
i want to go home.

posted by: dreamchaser04 at May 22, 2005 19:38 | link | comments |

 lol, i guess no one really reads my blog anymore... that's ok, i kinda stopped writing in it for a while. today is chris's birthday, and he has a bunch of friends visiting from u of o and western oregon. last night we played werewolf, but somehow it just wasn't as fun as it used to be. i think i prefer to play it with the group back home, sadly... at least they get into it.
i'm hungry, and i have no philosophical or interesting comments to make at this time. boo.

posted by: dreamchaser04 at May 14, 2005 08:15 | link | comments (2) |

 depression hits pretty suddenly this time... usually it kinda creeps up on me, but nope, this morning i woke up and didn't want to move, could barely breathe i was so hung over with depression.  brought on by stress, i'm breaking out too. not much to do but make it through this week and then go home this weekend. i need to relax like none other. but right now i have a final to study for (stats tomorrow night) and a welfare judging contest meeting to plan for (tonight at 6) and a shitty 3 hour lab to look forward to (tomorrow afternoon). i just want to make it through these next two days. somehow. holding on by a thread.

posted by: dreamchaser04 at May 11, 2005 11:09 | link | comments |

storming outside... i have blisters from trying to rebuild my guitar calluses. i went about a month without doing hardly any playing, and now for the past week i've had a lot of extra time, so i've been trying to get them back. owwwwie... but it's worth it. actually, i think the break might have done me some good because i seem almost a little better since i stopped; maybe i just needed a break.  bah. now i need to learn some new stuff. grrr.... so.
i need to go get ready, i got up early this morning so i could study for my quiz that's in two hours, and instead here i am. wasting my time. but what a beautiful time waster it is.

posted by: dreamchaser04 at May 06, 2005 05:55 | link | comments |

this morning is beautiful. yesterday was as such also, and it was mom's weekend, so it was nice to have good weather.  we went to the oregon gardens with some friends and then out to dinner. good stuff. then last night  a group of us (minus mom) went to go see hitchhikers guide to the galaxy... as a diehard fan of the books, i'd have to say it was fairly disappointing. not a bad movie overall, it was pretty funny, and the best part was that i could quote some of the lines without having ever seen it... i told you i was a diehard fan. i would have changed a few things, but i suppose anyone can say that about any movie, so why would anyone want to hear about it from me. anyway... my cold seems to have left my nose and throat and settled in my ears and forehead... i'm lightheaded, my ears are plugged, and my whole head kind of aches, but at least my throat feels fine and my nose isn't blasting snot everywhere. i hate those kind of colds; i think i'd actually rather get the flu and be done with it in a week than get a snotty cold and have it for three. how gross. 
alright, i'm going back to bed, i don't have to be anywhere until 1. booyakasha.

posted by: dreamchaser04 at May 01, 2005 07:29 | link | comments (1) |